One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
