Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
