Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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