I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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