i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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