i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize