So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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