Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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