Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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