Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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