are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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