They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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