it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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