she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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