Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize