just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
