Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
