Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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