how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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