It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you traded sex for a burrito?
birth control should be required to get into college
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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