I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize