Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we're making bets on your personal life
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
