I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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