I hate all girls vehemently.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
