Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize