You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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