I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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