In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
