thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so let's talk penis.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
