Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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