is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
