Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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