Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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