Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize