And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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