I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize