I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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