you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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