I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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