Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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