He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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