I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
