Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
