DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
should my penis look like a turkey
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
