just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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