btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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