He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
