Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
