i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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