i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
