I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we're making bets on your personal life
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
