Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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