Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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