oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
