I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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