o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
