He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
