ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize