You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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