hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Farmville is her only friend.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
