You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woke up backwards on a recliner
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
