i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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