Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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