So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
