so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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