That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
