So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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