you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
