so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
