im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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