good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
