Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i came on her dog
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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