if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
