ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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