Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
