Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
